healthy

Okay...what is BM school?

Your son is not a failure.  He might be among the healthiest kids.  I always wondered if I had done the right thing by homeschooling. Then I started working in the public schools. My first day there, I knew I had done the right thing. Public school is inherently violent. But it's like that goldfish thing. Living in the water is normal. You never know there is anything else. There is a quote that I go back to over and over - something to the effect that it is not a good sign to be healthy in a sick society. We live in a sick society. But that society only values us if we conform and make the system look successful.

Let your son be healthy. 

I am so far out of the loop.  I had no idea that S#4 was having the surgery. I knew she was thinking about it.  The surgery will be better than living in fear.  In fact, I think that living in fear causes disease.  And she won't ever have to have the possibility of chemo or radiation or hormonal intervention. 

I know B#1 and B#2 were both hospitalized when toddlers.  Mom made a note somewhere, perhaps in a baby book.  She signed for both of them to have tracheotomies, but they both recovered before that had to be done.

I wonder where I was...I wonder if that is part of my feeling lost.

I am a bit sad that I won't be able to go to the beach.  It has been so cold and dreary. I have been feeling so trapped.  I have been doing a count-down...how much longer 'til we get to go.  But it feels okay...like this is what was meant to happen, that my daughter would need surgery just when I had 5 days off.  I will probably schedule in some early hours, just to be sure I can cover the bills. It's never easy in the winter.

Not much going on here.  Not thinking about much. No great insight today. Baby is asleep. I think I'll drift away, too.

Love and hugs,

Clare