coming to terms

Clare,

I do understand about timing surgery. It's OK, just disappointing. I anticipated spending time with the four of you- living in that company for a few days- now I have to change my expectation. It's just a shift for me.

S#4 has decided to undergo a prophylactic bilateral mastectomy. She is living in fear of cancer and has decided to remove the threat. We've talked a lot about it, she seems to understand the pros and cons of it. She seems settled in her decision. It's funny, the last time we talked I told her I'd show her what the reconstructed lumps look like at the beach…maybe I'll have to send her a picture.

Interesting, I don't remember B#1 having any health problems. My reiki healer tells me over and over again that breathing difficulties are tied to grief and unresolved sadness. I guess we were sad from the very beginning.

My older son is calmer this week. We are meeting with the school on Friday to discuss his options. I think he feels that this is the end of BM school for his lifetime. He has several options to consider. I would love to see him dedicate himself to cyber-school and finish up on his own terms. My heart tells me that it would be better for him to take the GED route and just put school behind him. Husband is having a lot of trouble with that option…I just keep telling myself that it is a different path, not a failure.
I also remind myself that his actions reflect upon him, not me…it's not about me. I've got to come to turns with his choices.

I've got to run to work.
Love and Light beautiful sister,
Maggie