frozen

I hope you and the sisters have a fabulous time. I hope someone sings to the dolphins for me!

Things have been chaotic here.  There was a tech problem at work which kept me from working efficiently.  Then as it was fixed, I had over two dozen reports to write. I wrote until exhaustion last night, then wrote until mid-afternoon - the last two with toddler help...loud, intrusive toddler help.

Once I was finished, I put her in the backpack and we went for a walk. That was probably our first walk since before the big freeze that has been holding us down for the last month. We stopped and greeted the mulberry tree, we waved and said "Hi!" to the apple trees, the cherries and the pears and the maples. She was into it.

I know I have been exhausted, but I think I've been in a funk, borderline depressed- no energy, no light, you know...Being outside is always the best remedy for me.

So my daughter has her surgery first thing tomorrow morning. I have the babe overnight, and I will have her again tomorrow night. She will spend a few hours with Mama in the afternoon.  But the little one knows something is up. She has been out of sorts and a real handful!

I'm a bit worried mixed with an equal dose of faith - this will all be alright.

My daughter-in-law had a suspicious mole removed yesterday...when it rains, it pours, I guess.

I wish I was going with you tomorrow. I have had a few pouty moments. But mostly it is okay. We'll do sisters weekend in the fall.  We'll all count on you to have us to the island again next year!

I got the books you sent today. Thank you. I have read some essays by Matthew Fox and I love his work. That was a nice surprise.

I read and discussed part of an article about false memories with a researcher today.  We just got started, reading an article about taking a mouse and creating a sanctuary, where it feels safe.  Then when it is really comfortable, the experimenters electrified the floor and shocked its feet.  After that, being in the safe place created a freeze, frozen in fear, waiting for something bad to happen.

Feels like why it is hard to find home...maybe.

Next week we will finish reading and find out how the experimenter went on and planted false memories...

Happy Birthing Day to you Mama.  This is the anniversary of the day you became a mother!  And you have survived!

Love and hugs,

Clare