Talking to boys

Ah, you discovered something that I discovered years ago.  It works with boys of all ages.  If we sit down, face to face, and say we have to talk - they shut down.  They are closed in and can't listen.  But if we work side by side, they will begin to open up and talk about things.  I had my best talks with my sons when we were driving, both in the front seat together.  Or when we were building a wall, working next to each other.

The boys are just different than the girls.

Did either of them respond to your remarks that they have been dishonest?  Or do they feel justified?

I read an article once about changes of plan...they are not interruptions, but they are divine appointments.  Now, when you have time to process the weekend, you will have this sweet, loving time with the boys to temper your thoughts, to keep you centered, maybe.

I say pot is not physically addictive, but I think it is probably psychologically addictive.  It just seems that way to me, with some people...

I made a turnip soup.  Seemed weird, but it was actually good!

I don't think I like intervention.  A friend participated in one, organized by her husband's family - targeting her husband.  The marriage ended.  He felt betrayed.  He didn't talk to me for years, because he thought I was part of it.  He eventually forgave me when he found I did not know it was going to happen.  His sense of being betrayed went really deep.  Everyone he loved and trusted turned on him.  I don't think that is the way to healing.

Change occurs when the person is ready.  I think intervention is a ruse to force readiness.  It was a logical first step.  But I think we had to learn readiness has to come from within.  I don't know how we can get someone to think about their behavior, their effects on others...Sometimes we just have to wait for the onset of adult thinking at age 25. 

I don't know.  I am thinking about mine as I write.  I pray a lot, remain available.  Look for the good.  Treasure every calm moment.

I wish I had a magic answer.  I would use it, then share it.  I would make us all healthy.  Instead, I just love us all, with our warts and dramas and unfinished stories...

Hugs and smoochies,

Clare   (Still fighting the virus...not sure who is winning...)