It dawned on me today that the dream about careening out of control is about my grandchild. The fact that it was scary, but the driver never lost control of the car means it is going to be okay. I feel peace in my heart.
Listening to Christmas carols and cleaning my heart. (Just rereading to edit and see that I wrote that I am cleaning my heart. I thought I wrote cleaning my house. Maybe I am cleaning my heart...) I'm back and forth between making lists over and over - my go-to behavior when stressed - and recognizing random memories from my past.
I suddenly remembered one afternoon - I was a teenager. Dad fell asleep on the couch and we painted his toenails purple. Don't remember exactly who was involved, but I think it was a sister's operation. Someone came and knocked on the door and he went and answered, barefoot.
Hopefully we can get the house cleaned tonight. The laundry is pretty much caught up.. Then we can get groceries tomorrow morning, and spend the day cooking - after I clean the chimney and rebuild the fire. And we're expecting a few deliveries. And I hoped to finish a small knitting project I haven't started yet...This is the list I keep cycling...and we always sit and watch A Charlie Brown Christmas after everyone has gone home on Christmas Eve.
I had another strange dream. It was bizarre, but I am going to share it anyway. I was in a grocery store and I saw someone I recognized. As I walked over to say Hi! my wrap skirt started to unwrap. I was sort of walking in circles, trying to get the skirt to stop opening. Then I was in a diner booth. Next to me was a young friend - a homeschooling Mom with two sons. She is a dynamo organizer - always busy...kind of like me when I was her age. Across the table was a man I know. My clothes were falling off. I kept trying to pull my bra back up, but I was sitting there naked holding onto a blanket that I couldn't quite pull up over myself. And my body started growing, expanding. I remember thinking that I was going to be trapped in the booth - I was going to be too fat to get out. The man was looking at me quizzically. The woman was looking at me with great sympathy. I felt really embarrassed and exposed...then I woke up.
Is this an authentic reveal? I have no idea what this one means.
I hope you are having a joyful time, no matter where you are. I love you and miss you...
Clare
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