I am tempted to say - Let's do it. Let's get that tattoo. I wanted one when I was young, but my ex said it would be very low class. When others started doing it, I lost all interest. The nonconformist in me won't follow trends.
Your description of me is beautiful. Of course, I don't quite believe it, especially in relationship to me. But I'll sit with it for a little while. I'll see if I can own it.
I love the images from your healer. I think I will try it when I am in those vivid moments before sleep.
Mom called today. She sounded happy. Apparently there will be a family gathering at S#5's - time has not been determined - but it will be between Christmas and New Years. I already know I am working, so I won't be driving that far. But it reminded me that the family time of year is approaching. I talked to kids today to start the negotiations. I have this feeling that I would like to do something elegant. I also know it's time to reread Maeve Binchy, Next Year Will Be Better. It's good to remind myself that Christmas isn't perfect - never. Usually I just pray for the holidays to be over - I just want to get it out of the way, get through with as little pain as possible. But if I read about foibly Christmases, I lower my expectations...maybe?
Had a long talk with my eldest. We were talking about acceptance, self-acceptance, fighting inner demons and dealing with addictions. I wish I had been a better mother so she would not be battling her way through life.
I guess that's another part of the holiday...looking at us as a family, seeing our flaws, blaming myself...But I think in general, I am becoming kinder. I am loving us more. I adore my children...somehow I have to make this all fit...will keep thinking.
Thinking, thinking, thinking...And sending you love...
Clare
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