How could you know?

By God, I love you.  I love the passion.  I had the thought - maybe you should have fruit and wine for dinner more often.  But then I stopped and thought - bad idea for a kid from an alcoholic family.  But then I had the next thought - family pattern is to use wine to numb.  You have used it to feeeeeeelllll.

How are you today?

I thought about this post a lot.  It is overwhelming, but beautiful.

I come back over and over to your question:  How could you know?

That is so loaded for me.  I expect people who love me to just know.  I don't want to, I don't want to have to - explain and ask.  I just want everyone to know.  But of course I don't really want to come out of the shadows.  But I think I will emblazon the questions somewhere, somehow.  How could you know?  And remember.  And also, in trying to be kind - try to be aware...maybe get the feeling that there is something I should know.

I also truly laughed out loud to the Quaker solution - serve on a committee!

and defined successful resilience as being able to suppress their emotional reaction in order to function on a day to day basis...

This has also stayed with me...this idea that being able to function is enough.  Being in pain is the norm.  And it's okay, it's acceptable.  I think resilience is also finding a joyful place despite what has happened.  Where is the joy?  How have we managed to forget how beautiful this Earth is - every day?

And don't forget the altruist.  The male scientist did not understand and so this compassion across species, that permeates all life was ignored.

How was today?  I look forward to hearing more.

I love you.

Clare

(Had a dream last night, that felt real - felt physical.  I was talking to someone and could feel them, the weight of their head, the prickle of their hair.  Has this ever happened to you?  I have been a bit freaked out all day!)