evolution

Yeah,  I think maybe I am trying to identify the stereotypes that speak to me.  Nonetheless, they are stereotypes.

And I agree, that we get softer with age.  Maybe we begin to trust ourselves, to know we can protect ourselves.  I have seen it in many, many people.  Of course, there are also the hardened bitter old ones who are wondering why they are so alone.  They are still trapped in their victimhood, which is so comfortable, they don't want to see beyond it. Unfortunately, when change does happen, the wisdom and softening do not set in until the damage has been done to the next generation.

What happens next is a bit telling.  Some of us simply forget.  We evolve and become someone kinder, and pretend that is who we always have been.  Others face the pain they have caused and try to make amends.  It would be interesting to track these family groups...the three - the ones with the matriarchs/patriarchs who are never wrong and never change; the ones with the patriarchs/matriarchs who change but also change history, and the ones where the matriarchs/patriarchs change, own up and apologize.

I wish I lived close enough to see your daughter's plays.  She always makes it look like such fun.

I don't think I have ever been very male in my attitudes.  I think I have been female/martyr and female/mother.

I was thinking about being pretty while I was doing the dishes.  Thinking about the dumb/fat/ugly message being so alive, almost tattooed in my thoughts, and on my consciousness.  I fell hard for my ex because he told me I was beautiful, and I was desperate to hear it.  I don't think I had ever heard it before.

We need to be aware of stating the obvious and of being kind.

Time to make dinner.  I love you...

Clare