Relaxing and accepting the inevitable - sounds like some men's advice for a woman about to be raped. Problem is that it is not inevitable. We make it so by believing it is so. And no student ever talks about the teacher who let them slide as being the person who really taught them something. Someone in their life has to at least present the idea of integrity.
How did they do the second time?
The woman who looked you in the eyes? She's an angel, a teacher...
We all know this is my place to expose weird. And I had another weird last night. I have not been sleeping well. Last night when I was awake and quiet in the dark, I was being frustrated with myself. I have not had any wheat, I have been absolutely gluten free, for two and a half weeks. And my weight has not budged a bit. I know I have to buck up and ban sugar, too, but I thought the wheat would make a difference. So in the middle of the night I asked my body why...Why am I not losing any weight? And I got the answer...
1977
1977? I was thinking about 1977. I was at the university. I had recently broken up with my college sweetheart. I was working in the physical sciences library, closing it at about 10 pm, and then walking home - a couple miles, mostly residential. So what happened in 1977? I suddenly remembered walking home one night. It was really quiet. I suddenly had the chills - like I was being stalked. I remember very clearly thinking - "I can't go through it again. If someone is going to rape me, they are going to have to kill me." That is stored in me. I found - I don't know - a booby trap, a hand grenade set to go off. The fat insulates that and keeps me invisible...
So...weird, huh?
I am exhausted...and I love you...
Clare
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