Looking for Light

Clare,

Good morning beautiful sister.

Reminding them of Arizona is on my mind too. I'm trying to have their letters bound into book form for Christmas to remind them of their journeys. I've contacted a local artist to see if she can help me with that. My older son returned to our local high school today. I am ambivalent, at best. I am hopeful because graduating is one of his goals. I just worry that the old stressors will be present and he'll look for the same stress relief. He told me that his classmates were asking his best friend if he was going to still be a "dick" to everyone. He said it laughing. I just keep reminding him to maintain a Heart at Peace.

I saw my oncologist yesterday. She didn't buy into the idea of stopping tamoxifen. She told me that they could give me a monthly injection to stop my periods. I politely declined telling her that I want as few chemicals as possible. She reminded me that I escaped chemotherapy- touché.
She also pointed out that my weight is up, about 8 lbs. She warned me that excess body weight is a significant risk factor for recurrence. So I came home and ordered a cleanse + 14 day diet with supplements. I hate gaining weight, carrying extra weight is really uncomfortable for me. So I'll tap into my bulimic self and drop 10.

I'm sorry the baby is sick. I hope that she feels better soon. I hope that you get some rest as well.

I was asked to write a blog post for the foundation in Arizona, about my experiences with the program. I'm inspired to write it as the Prodigal Son and his Brother- because that parallels our experience. I'm trying to answer the question- what happens to the brother when the biblical story ends? Any suggestions?

I had a long talk with S#4 yesterday. I appreciated being able to talk about my experiences with her. She was very receptive to my stories. We talked a lot about sexuality and how devastating this has been to my sexual being. It was an unexpected turn in the conversation- but needed to be said out loud. It is good to have her reaching out and connecting. That was the Light in my day yesterday

Love and Light until tomorrow,
Maggie