Gift each other with Presence

Clare,

I like that quote…
let it go and see what comes to us…
I will try to hold that in my heart today.

I had a tough day yesterday.
I decided to clean my older son's room…
it was a mess.
As I got through the laundry gathering and picking up trash I found a note that basically said he couldn't live with us any longer and was leaving. At first I questioned whether this was written months ago…
during our most troubled times…
I assured myself that this was from months ago…
tried to convince myself of that…
and then doubt set in.
Suddenly I was filled with anger and disappointment…
and then overwhelming sadness.
How could this be?
We are talking and reasoning with each other.
We are in relationship.
Doubt is a strong force.
I finally said something to my youngest, who is homeschooling right now.
He hugged me and reassured me.
He came back about 30 minutes later and said he had texted his brother and that was, indeed, an old message, and that he's, indeed, coming home today.
I cried harder.
I don't think I've realized how precarious my trust really is.
It's like the fledgling bird trying to trust their wings instead of the branch.
Trusting was easier when they were at Anasazi…
Anasazi was the branch that we could all hold on to.
Now the trust has to belong to me…
I must own it and the relationship…
it's very scary.
The Universe is working with great force and energy this solstice.
I'm trying to keep up.

I am heartbroken by the treatment and attitudes towards women and children in this world. The Cosby thing is very much like Santa Claus…
we want to believe that Cosby is really as good and decent as the characters he portrayed…
but, there is a grown-up part of us that understands that people carry secrets and scars.
Adults want to believe in a magical force that can bring peace, respect and love to the world…
but we know the power lies within…
and we must actively work to bring these things.
Cosby, apparently was not able to actively control his inner drives…
I hope he finds a place within that allows him to admit and ask forgiveness…
what a gift that would be for all of us….
Validation.

I love that you sat with your grand-daughter yesterday. What wonderful insight and Light.
Yesterday felt pretty dark for me. But, I can see that reaching out to my younger son taught me not to hold it all in silently. He was overjoyed that he had helped me during a difficult moment. We gifted each other by presence. What a wonderful gift that is.

Love and Light,
Maggie