tough choices

Clare,

I was interrupted this am as I sat to write to you. The vet had just finished evaluating my horse, Rusty. He's been having trouble keeping food in his mouth and drooling for a few days. I thought it was a tooth issue, but he'd just had his teeth floated about a month ago. The vet said his teeth are workout but not infected. He's not moving much air in and out of his lungs and he's using his abdominal muscles to breath. His diagnosis is a tumor blocking his laryngeal area affecting both his breathing and swallowing. I've decided to euthanize him. Now I have to wait and see if a hole can be dug int his frozen earth to bury him or if he'll be cremated. Once we know the timing of that we will do the injection.
I bought this horse for husband's 41st birthday. He has been a gentle and constant friend. He is hopelessly in love with my daughter's mare who treats him like shit…but he always calls for her when she's out of the barn and waits for her to leave the field before he'll return to his stall. She kicks at him and turns her butt towards him. He was a champion rodeo (cow roping) horse who came to us when his owner was hurt and unable to afford him. He is a great horse. I hate saying goodbye. But, I remind myself that my goal was to give him the opportunity to live life as a horse for the remainder of his days…and I've done that. I really hate saying goodbye.

I hear that S#3 is visiting you this weekend. I hope that you have a wonderful time. I am so looking forward to sister time in March.

Reading your post about living so far from each other makes me sad. I am not saying that I'd want to live in the same neighborhood as my siblings, because we were raised in such a way that living close would not be healthy. But, sometimes I wish it were different.
One thought I have about Americans living independent of family…
Americans (except natives and slaves) were of a pioneer mindset. They were willing to leave the familiar behind in order to find a brighter future. Our Great grandparents (x3 or 4) were heading to the Upper plains at an elderly age. I think there is some trait within Americans that motivates them to move from the safe and known and pioneer to the unknown. I don't know if it's curiosity or restlessness or adventure that motivated them but many still carry that characteristic.
We aren't quite nomads…but we are pioneers.

I have to run…waiting for the phone calls to come in to help make plans.
Love and Light beautiful sister,
Maggie