Changing

I hope the quote is:  If it's a legitimate rape, the whole thing shuts down. You are off on hair loss for some reason...I think!

I have seen that rapist's rationalization, trying to convince himself he did not just violate someone. Trying to excuse his rapist self -- yet knowing that is what he is.

I am glad I am inspiring you.  I feel like I have been blathering in circles, trying to figure things out. 

I had never heard flight, fight or freeze.  I  have only seen the flight or fight options.  But I know frozen! I do believe I am still frozen.  I am still afraid to move, still afraid to attract attention.

Reading your lyrics, I wonder how many of us have been knocked off track by violence.  How many of us have lost our way, forgotten our sacred contracts because we are frozen. We are prey who have learned to camouflage ourselves, to avoid drawing the attention of the ever present, ever frightening predator.

It all comes from not being safe as children.

I have said before, that I rarely feel safe.  Sometimes I do, which is a lot compared to my past, but mostly I survive because low grade fear keeps me - hypervigilant.  Or at least vigilant.

When I want to cry - The Color Purple always gets me. When I need to cry, anything can get me going!

We are back into a too warm, way too cold pattern. Someone described it as - the dragon is whipping its tail.  I like that poetry.  I now imagine it.  I saw a view of the polar winds at different heights.  There used to be a completed circle around the North Pole. It turned into a barbell shape, then in to three circles. And now there are four.  They are pushing further and further south as they break up.

I have two images - one is that Mother Earth is having chills and fever as she tries to kill off this virus-species that has over-burdened her body, her resources. The second vision is that that the polar patterns are simply disintegrating and disappearing. The changes are upon us. They are happening all around us...do we even know?

We are so tired, do we even see the change, feel the change?

Mostly I don't...

And I will end with my usual comments about exhaustion...

And with love and hugs...

Clare