Opening to the lessons

Clare,

I am well.
I experienced a paradigm shift this past week…it needed to happen.
I have been bouncing between guilt (years of Diet Coke) and I always knew this would happen to me…
and then I opened to the lessons this holds.
This cancer is the parent that will nudge me from the comfort and safety of the nest…
encourage me to step out…
and soar.
This cancer isn't a threat to my mortal life...
it is a threat to the life I've created and have been living…
I have been living on the edge of discovery…
moving closer and closer to fully embracing who I am…
at my center…
and this will hopefully be the push I need to take that leap of faith.

From the moment I heard I needed a biopsy I knew this was cancer.
But I also knew it would not be the end of my life.
It will be a rough period…
but not the end.

I tried to explain my attitude of surrender to my reiki healer…
she told me not to allow this to take over my body…
don't give it permission to advance.
That's not what I meant.
I am surrendering to the divine lessons within the cancer experience.

Honesty
Vulnerability
Forgiveness
Patience

What ever comes- I welcome and embrace.

I am already blessed to have people I would not expect to offer to help step forward.
I am disappointed that some of our siblings have failed to acknowledge the diagnosis.
But I realize they are dealing with their own fears, filters, and prejudices- it's not about me…
it's their experience with all of this.

So- the good news is that the largest of the tumors is a nonaggressive type…
despite micro invasion the oncologist feels I can do without chemo…
That all is prefaced with, "depending upon what we see at surgery".
But for now I can breathe easier.
My thoughts have been so foggy for the past month…
perhaps I can have a sunny afternoon and really get some perspective.

Hopefully the rain has passed and I can get out to mulch today and over the weekend.
Love and Light to you my sister…
Maggie