daffodils

I work in fits and starts, with a baby in the house.  And so I work in the garden when I can. My mind is full of garden this year.  My wrist works, I can set the baby down - yet she's not too mobile, yet - and so I can get things done when her mama is at work.

First up - well, after planting vegetables, and cleaning and moving the compost, and mowing the lawn, and...is to thin the daffodils.  We have so many, and they are so crowded. I'll be moving daffodils everywhere. That is good. They fill my heart.

Did you have to go inside the big bullet-tube thingy?  I'll bet you're really impressed with the depth of my technical language skills.  I am referring to the MRI.

I had a friend who beat a rare kind of cancer.  She named it, and had conversations with it, trying to understand what was happening, why and how she truly felt about it.  She is wise, and so I appreciated the work she did.

Have you been thinking about how much you love your breasts? When I have a physical problem, I send love to the organ. It has kept my gall bladder going all of these years.  As you know, most women in our family have to have the removed. 

I was working with my gall bladder one night, though, and forgive me if I told this story before - but we just let our second anniversary go by unnoticed - Thank you for continuing this journey with me. I love you, sister - and we have a lot of stories.  I hope I'm not going to start the old-lady thing of repeating the same stories over and over.  But...I was working with my gall bladder one night. I had eaten something I knew I shouldn't, and it was hurting a lot.  I started sending it love, focusing a loving stream to the organ and as always, the pain receded. 

But then a thought invaded my brain, and took over.  My ex always said he loved me, but he continued acting in unloving ways.  And here I was doing the exact same thing.  If I truly loved my gall bladder and loved myself, I would not eat the foods that cause pain. I would not do anything that causes pain.

Important thing to think about as I am trying to get a grasp on my sugar addiction!  And it's hard. Logical wars with emotional.  I know ice cream is bad, but I will mindlessly eat it if it's here.  I don't even especially like it, I just want it.

I guess I will have to spend more time thinking about whether I love myself and how I love myself. Are words ever enough?????

Wish I could come sing with you.

Have more fun than you can hold, and spill the excess out onto the world, especially the daffodils!

Love you so much...Clare