I haven't thought about the incident for a long time. I don't know why it reemerged now. Probably because I was thinking about the girl who was recently raped as others took pictures and tweeted about it. I guess I was thinking about how hard it is to speak up. I feared that if I spoke up, I would be attacked again. (I remember walking home in the dark while at school, having that creepy feeling that I was not safe, and thinking I would rather be killed them raped again...) I have been plagued by this memory on and off for years. I wonder who she is, if she is okay.
Anger is good. Righteous anger is a great torch to take us forward. Are we really expected to calmly and civilly have tea and discuss child abuse? Be angry, but be clear with your anger...
The dreams are coming fast and furious. Three nights ago, I had a dream that my ex died. Two nights ago I had a dream about a teacher, the one who has been in many of my dreams about my house. Last night I was in the basement of my house for the first time ever. There was a doorway to the terror. My ex was with me. (Instead of the teacher.) It is strange, because I may have dreamed about my ex once or twice in the past 20 years, and now - twice in three days. I asked him to go through the door first, because I wanted to see if he sensed the terror-source. I followed him into the next room and it was a kitchen with a yellow tiled floor, and there was a dining room to one side. There were people there preparing a luncheon for the golf club. Someone said the yellow tile destroyed the beauty of the floor. Also, we were asked to leave so they could finish cooking.
There is still a boarded off place sort of between the two rooms...but I made it to the basement!!!
Be angry!
Love from Clare
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