People encourage me to speak. During many meetings - committee meetings, business meetings - I listen, I try to listen deeply. Eventually someone asks what I am thinking. When I am ready, though, I speak. I want to be one of those Friends who can be expected to say something worth hearing. Another thing, though, is that I cherish the silence. I hate rippling through it when it's possible to drown in the stillness for an hour. You do go through the traditionally described emotions/reactions before channeling Spirit. It always amazes and delights me that the feelings are the same now as they were hundreds of years ago. That shows such a deep and human truth. I wonder if the same thing happens to those who have shamanism as a spiritual practice.
I also feel like a nagging Friend. When I get a leading, I am willing to gently follow it for years. I think my meeting sort of dreads/treasures me!
You make me sound romantic - skipping down hills, laughing until crying. Rather what you would see is a middle-aged woman doing a silly bunny-hop on a dirt road. I did it again today. Then I stretched my legs and ran for a very short distance, trying to sort of leap. I feel awkward and graceless. But in my dreams...in my dreams...ever since I was young - I remember the dreams as early as 8 years old...I would walk and roll off my toes, sort of, and then I would start bouncing, until I was flying, occasionally landing, just to push off with my toes and be air-bound again. There is such joy and freedom. Nowadays, I am dreaming a lot about leaping down hills - taking long, graceful arcs through the air. So I wanted to feel it with my body.
I have asked many people how they fly in dreams. I have heard many answers - but none were like mine. So, Maggie, do you fly in your dreams? How do you fly?
As I bunny-hopped today, I laughed at my awkward self, and decided I need to learn to sing Defying Gravity! But then, the separation between graceful, dreaming self and daily bonk-around-the house self reared before me and I thought of a beautiful song called Engie's Waltz (Number 10 on the play list below...actually this is one of the best collections I have ever listened to me. If you have time, it will touch you.) The song is about the young dancing woman still inside the old woman. That dream self is inside of me. I have something beautiful inside me...Typing these words while listening to the waltz is bringing tears. How do I let that beautiful, graceful, strong self emerge? I want to be her...I want to be more me, more myself...
http://www.mollyscott.com/AOL/index.html
Believing yourself when you say I love you is a great step forward. You are recognizing the truth, and it will be there to niggle into you as you thaw...which has begun. I think the love is deeper into you than you may know yet...Just a feeling.
Ireland would be exciting. I have an old friend who has done political activism in Northern Ireland. As a result I wrote a feature article about some of the men who have escaped and remade their lives here. It was eye-opening. Amazing stories of a violent system and resilient people who want to survive and live and love. A strong point for me, was that the root of many of the problems was that the King of England decided people who did not share the faith were not people, and so he claimed their land and gave it to his followers - the obedient. Now, 500 - 600 years later we have a group with ties of hundreds of years vying still trying to disempower people with thousands of years of connection to the land. The exact same thing happened here. The Iroquois people (to use a European term) were not seen as being humans, and so The King of England gave out land to those who are obedient to violence. We have the same problems, the same violence, the same international problems in my backyard.
It's the same violence over and over...
Gotta go sing...
I love you...as you thaw, I know you believe me!!
Clare
No comments:
Post a Comment