Again, I wonder why...why do we react the way we do? You control situations. This is classic for kids who grew up in chaos. Childhood was absolutely uncontrollable, we were tossed about with no concern for the effects on our development, or on our sense of security. One response is to become an adult and absolutely control everything, so that the world is not scary any more. My mother-in-law was the queen of this. Then there's me, and people like me. When life gets chaotic, I roll with it and just wait to see where I land. I don't have any sense of control, or being able to make a difference, or, at base, of even being here. So why is my response the exact opposite of yours? What makes us so different?
And, what I have been thinking is that healthy is halfway between us. You need to learn to direct, not control. I need to learn that I have some influence, especially in my own life. You need to release, I need to get a grip. Maybe that is why we are in this together. We are the two faces of a dysfunctional upbringing...and neither one of is truly happy or connected. But we have the potential to be, and are getting closer every day! So, get out of your yellow chakra, get into your heart chakra and trust the universe. And I need to remember I have a yellow chakra and have some influence in my own life...
If I had been asked to describe a perfect job, I would never have dreamed up the job I have. Yet I love it. Some days I am tired and groan about having to work, but I never complain about the job. I enjoy myself every day. So, make your wish list, then trust the universe. I know you recognize the messages!! And you'll end up someplace where you can make a difference.
Confront your past? Confront your future? Maybe, simply confront yourself...
I have been feeling blank also. That was why I watched the TED talk again. I have seen it so many times, but each time something else rises for me. This week, today, I feel like I am trying not to get sick, and so my brain has gone into hibernation to keep me calm. The house is messy, but I am going to knit and see if I have more energy tomorrow.
Another word that comes to mind...boundaries. I know we have had struggles with this word, and continue to struggle. But, just as you don't want others taking over your life, make sure you set boundaries for your job.
Active sentence: I lost the paper.
Passive sentence: The paper is lost.
I have an editor who reminds and repeats - No passive sentences. We want active articles!! Passive is a great way to not take responsibility. Thinks of kids, "Mom, the lamp got broken!" Passive is abundant in political speeches!
I am feeling tired and logy. I think I am going to turn on a movie and knit - even though it is beautiful outside. And yeah, we are wondering what will happen with the storm which is also heading toward us!
Tomorrow...until then, Smile! Clare
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