I love the thought of being intentional about any activity...
unfortunately, in reality I get busy and forget to pay attention to the present.
Intentional love is a wonderful concept...
I especially loved the way it was used in that Gospel...it talked about the act of intentional love in creating/conceiving a child...how that mindful, consensual act would result in an 'elevated' human...
maybe that's the problem with the majority of the population- conceived without intention- from fear, obligation, drunkenness, etc.. Sorry, I just don't understand the lack of respect that is so prevalent in our world...there is a failure to recognize the divinity, the Light in each being, and nonbeing...so it is easy to manipulate or exploit or hurt what isn't "us".
I was musing further with the Light and hitting something of substance and reflecting back in visible light. I thought of the colors...the breaking apart of white light into components. As light strikes an object some of its rays are absorbed and some are reflected. The color we perceive is the color that is absorbed.When you wrote of darkness/blackness perhaps part of the healing is just passively absorbing all of those rays...black is the lack of reflection...perhaps the absorption of that Light and retention of it can energize us at a very deep level. Perhaps it isn't selfish or pathological to absorb those rays...perhaps it is part of healing...when the healing occurs then reflection will be possible.
I am working towards a new understanding of trauma, pain, stress and the way we have coped. I am coming to see that despite the obvious and real difficulties that some life choices have left us with...I did the best that I could do under the circumstances. Unhealthy coping strategies were at least an attempt to alleviate the painful memories. Now that the secrets are disclosed my approach to stress has been slowly changing...for the better I think.
Anyway...I've got to put kids to bed.
Blessings,
Maggie
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