over-filled or under-filled

Clare,
Congratulations….
5K completion.
Keep working towards that distance…
soon it will become easier and easier.

I had an interesting weekend. Some parts of my life are wonderful and others are just damn trying my patience and fortitude.

On Saturday morning I sat with 2 friends- one a massage therapist and the other a yoga instructor- to discuss a new adventure. I think I told you before about my idea to offer services for trauma survivors…
body work followed by talk therapy…
processing what came up during the session.
We started to formulate our ideas on Saturday.
We've decided to spend the next 2 weeks thinking about our unique niche and finding words to describe what it is we can offer. My oldest is going to sit with us and create a marketing plan or strategy to help us. I think that putting it into words is the next step…
thoughts…words…actions.
It is exciting and I love these ladies so it will be good tow irk with them more closely.

Our home life is trying to find a new normal.
With the addition of our young man there are challenges.
He is incredibly smart…
but his development has been 'arrested' at some pretty immature stages.
He refuses to try new foods…
he wants cheeseburgers or spaghetti with meat sauce at every meal.
He complains of being bored regularly…
I give him a task or make a suggestion and he tells me why he cannot possible do those…
like 'read a book'.
I told him to find another word because I don't think he's really bored and he's confusing me with that word.

My kids returned from the beach. The youngest is more engaged, but still acting 'sneaky'.
I just don't trust him.
He came in 30 minutes late last night…
apologetic, but trying to convince me it's because I screwed up- not him.

We went zip lining near your old farm yesterday. We met husband's brothers' family. We were celebrating brother-in-law's 60 birthday and fathers' day together. Husband has been increasingly anxious recently and so he was really angry when we got on the road late…
our youngest wasn't getting out of bed…
husband never yells…
he gets really quiet and the veins bulge on the sides of his neck and face…
I tried to talk to him about 20 minutes into the drive and he cut me off…
so it was a very quiet ride.
Our oldest tried to make small talk…
but was met with one word answers.
we zipped and I had fun…
I love this part of husband's family.
I have no idea if husband had fun…
he said thanks after, but not in an incredibly authentic way.
I need a break from my family…
but there isn't one insight.

I wish I knew where all of this is taking me. Right now I want to jump ship and find a new life….
but I would overfill that one too…
and then want to try something else.
Am I over-filled or under-filled?
Sometimes I cannot tell.

Love and Light beautiful sister,
Maggie