got a name

Hi Maggie,

I also wondered about what the emotional cleansing and bandaging, and soothing and salving, would look like. So I went back to find the speakers name.  And I found he was written a book called Emotional First Aid. His name is Guy Winch.  I plan to keep an eye out for this book. 

I read a little of his writing. He said people who are lonely tend to isolate as a way of avoiding rejection.  I was just thinking about that in relation to myself. 

I was also thinking about my tendency to wait until everything is okay to do what I want. That was why doing the 5k, and even coming in last, were so important. I have been wanting to go for the past few years, but since I have not been running for years, I decided I would wait until I was acceptable. I think acceptable means I blend. There is nothing terribly offensive about me...

I am acceptable.  I'm not the fastest or most competitive. But I am acceptable.

We did not have much snow last winter, so there was no melt to soften and saturate the ground. And now we have been going a long time without a soaking rain.  It is so dry. My garden is so stunted.  I read an article about the tens of hundred of thousands of trees that have died and are dying in Cali right now. It is a combination of drought and wildfire.  I just had a sense of death and extinction.

I was outside in my overly dry little corner of the planet wondering how to call in the rain. I was wondering how we could love ourselves into a pocket of life...

A friend of mine has realized that when she travels, she always finds herself in a healing place, a learning place- the place that she should be.  She is offering to create journeys for her friends, either solo or with her. I am taking her upon this, but I can't decide what my purpose is...she suggests clarity, healing or enlightenment.

I am waiting for clarity...so maybe that is what I want. Or is this another of those moments where I am waiting until I am good enough to go forward and have fun...

I think I'll pick clarity, and trust that if that is not what I need, it will not be what I get!

Love and hugs fromyour sleepy sister!!

Clare