Just change the point of view

Yeah, I knew I didn't write clearly.  I knew you were 50 last year - that was your trial run in the decade.  Now you are firmly here!  I know S#3 will be 50 soon because she is thinking about throwing herself a party.  She is so much cooler than me!  I never want to throw myself a party.  I'm not sure if it's because I don't like my birthday or if it's because I don't like me...

Congratulations on submitting an article to a journal.  They would be crazy to say no!  Keep me in the loop please!

So we try...sort of try...we hit a roadblock...we descend into "Who do you think you are?" and can't get past it.  This is so familiar.  I see it in me, I see it all around me, I see it in people I love and respect and wish would shine - 'cause I know they can.  What happened to brainwash us into believing we are worth less than everyone else, and at such a young age?  I know this is the question we have been addressing over and over and I know we have projected ideas and logically discussed the process.  But I still circle back around to ...What happened and how do we reeducate ourselves?

Because this inability to love myself and therefore to allow anyone to love me is really screwing up my life.  I am better than what I am living.  I have more potential and more love and more ideas and more wisdom...but I think I'll just sit here in my little basket, please call me if you need me.  (Please need me, someone please need me...)

I know I climbed in the basket, willingly, obediently like a good little girl, but I'll be damned if I know how to climb back out.  I didn't develop the right muscles.  I have developed patience, endurance but not mountain climbing skills.


And in a related note...I read the coolest article today.  In Sweden, they have reduced prostitution, sexual slavery and sex trafficking to almost nothing.  They did it simply and easily.  They started seeing it from the women's point of view.  Prostitution is now seen as a crime of violence against women and children with men as the violators and the women and children as those who need to be helped.  Isn't that elegant and wholistic?  Change a point of view, educate people and the world is suddenly different.

http://justicewomen.com/cj_sweden.html

Hmmmmmmm...I wonder how to change my point of view about myself...I just started looking into my eyes in the mirror each night before bed and stating,  "I accept myself unconditionally right now."  It has been two days and I still feel stupid, but this could be the beginning of an education process.

I am rambling this evening.  I'll reread later to see if I made much sense.  In the meantime -

Smile,

Love...Clare!