Friday, January 25, 2013

Fighting for our lives

I agree that many, if not most, men are not rapists.  But the ones who are seem to be the ones in charge, or who take charge.  Or maybe, they seem to be the top or the bottom of the pool.  It could go back to that God-given right to possess by those at the top...

When my kids were little I identified their tendency toward the lowest common denominator determiner of behavior.  All of the kids would adopt the behavior of the least in control.  The kids who don't want to sink are the goody-two-shoes ostracized individuals.  I think there are men who go along with violence, with disrespecting women, simply because of peer pressure.  And many more remain silent.

When I read your response I thought, we are just the tip of the iceberg.  I saw us sort of jumping around on the iceberg, trying to get someone to notice us.  Then I saw us as part of a melting iceberg, we are part of the melt, we are swimming free.  Then I realized that the iceberg is melting quickly and we are all swimming away from that frozen agony together.  And as we go, others are able to melt and slip away.  Maybe this is part of the effect of the heat of love

I watched a movie this evening, an indie, reality type film.  I realized that when the female characters were alone with male characters, I was afraid.  I think that deep inside I define everything as a potential rape situation.  I think I am discovering that I am always afraid.

A couple quotes come to mind:

Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.       -Gandhi
Speak your truth, even if your voice shakes.    -Bumper sticker...

The pain we are in is staggering.  Women are being destroyed by the minute - because we are never the same after a sexual assault or any kind of violent assault.  Men are being destroyed as they participate in the violence or try to escape the violence.  Children are being tossed in the tide of filth.  How do we raise our sons to be noble and kind?  These kind , gentlemen get laughed at, put in their place - their silent place, by ridicule and - you guessed it - more violence.

I never thought it was a coincidence that the women's movement and the environmental movement arose at the same time.  I feel like we are in the fight for our lives right now.  One side is telling us we must accept rape, bear the children of rape, give visitation to rapists.  They are telling us our bodies are not our own, our lives are not our own.  We must protect ourselves against rape.  This same side is fracking the deep layers of the Earth, destroying water tables, ignoring the fact that the wildlife and the human life are becoming extremely ill.  The rapist are owning the livestock and forcing torturous lives, destroying the plants, dumping poison on the land, releasing it into the air.  It seems as if they are intent on murdering the planet.  I don't think they are so stupid they don't know it is happening.  They can't be that stupid...

On the other side, the icebergs are melting.  We are redefining rape as a man's problem.  There is something wrong with the violator.  I loved the new rules for rapists - If you stop to help a woman when her car breaks down, don't rape her...If you feel unsafe in a situation, blow a rape whistle until someone comes and helps you resist raping women...If you plan to rape a women while on a date, tell her before hand, otherwise she might think you just want to go on a date.  I love the fact that the world is waking up and realizing this is a man's problem.  Women are victims.  Women never deserve to be raped - even if a breast is showing.  People are rebelling against the old definitions of rape and abuse.  And people are saying no to fracking.  And people are eating local, eating humanely grown meats, and even more - walking away from eating meats - refusing to be part of the carnage.

We have to speak. We have to speak out, we have to sing, we have to cry, we have to be passionately joyful.  Life and love will win.  This planet is so lovely.  It is worth saving.  We save the planet, we save ourselves - and I don't think the order of occurence matters at all.

Passionately,

Clare

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