Hey Love,
Life is full of lessons, and I think you have inadvertently hit on a big one. Maybe we are not supposed to fly solo. Remember the fledgling robin I watched? She had to leave the nest and fly alone. And not one, but both parents were there witnessing, encouraging staying with her. Your healer is holding you together on a spiritual level. I am here, psychologically - you are in my heart every single day. Your husband is there physically and emotionally - and if he's not, ask him to call me. I can talk him through this partner stuff. My kids will tell you, I am good!
And maybe you are disintegrating as a way of releasing your breasts. It might not be all bad. Again, as you go through this process, you have a loving healer to hold the pieces. Nothing will be lost during this life episode. No soul retrieval will be necessary.
The soul retrieval is a six week process. I am not sure if we really get hit with all our lost bits at once. But if so, we work together - we talk and talk and analyze and welcome and accept ourselves and each other.
From here, I am not sure how much you have dissociated your mind from your body. I see you moving from being very logical and practical, which is dissociated, and is necessary, to moments of panic and facing the absolute, inescapable reality of surgery and losing both breasts, then having new ones formed. I think this is necessary. It would not be healthy to stay in either mindset, and you need both.
Are you going to have a sticky, gooey, no more braces celebration dinner?
If all goes as planned, I will be with my son's family the middle two weeks of August. I'll keep you posted.
I love you,
Clare
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