End of the week.

Clare,

My shoulder is less painful and the headache has subsided. I guess I should take more time and care with myself. This is a recurrent problem for me. WHen my youngest was 6 months old he weighed 18 lb. and I carried him on my left generally. I had to support his back because although he was big he didn't have the muscle tone yet. Needless to say my upper back took a beating. I had a 6 week headache and finally decided to see a chiropractor who helped me immensely. She did pressure point release and spinal manipulation and my headaches were controlled. I still have headaches, but infrequently because I have switched from the chiropractor to a massage therapist and she keeps my upper back pain free. But, every once in a while I do something that just irritates that area. This time it was sitting on bleachers for 3 hours.

I finished work today- I won't see clients for 4 weeks at least. It is really sad for me. I have grown attached to many of my weekly clients. As I told them that I wouldn't be available over the past 2 weeks they surprised me by their reactions. They are genuinely concerned about me. I didn't share my diagnosis, but most I told that I was facing surgery. It really touched my heart that they care about me and my wellbeing. I guess I thought the care was all directed at them, not understanding that I am really being cared for in return. I will never view therapy the same.

We have baseball every day between now and Wednesday. I am going to have nightly time with friends, my youngest and husband. I will try to appreciate every moment of this.

I cannot wrap my head around cancer. At the beginning I was terrified. But now, 2 months into the course, I see it as a companion…not so scary…occasionally I get pain in the area…just a reminder that it is still there.  I am reminded of the gravity of the situation when I see others' reactions and hear their comments. I have to remind myself that I am ill…even though I feel incredibly healthy. Last week at Meeting someone asked me how I am feeling…I told him, "just fine- they haven't done anything to make me feel sick yet". That's the confusing part…I feel great. I cut my hair shorter. I have toned up. I am eating mostly raw and optimizing my protein intake. I haven't had sugar or flour in a long while. I wish I could this motivated when I am really healthy. But, I do realize that next week at this time I will be feeling lass than fine. What a strange concept.

I am seeing S#3 this week. She is hanging with me while I get my sentinel node injection. Hopefully we can talk and relax while that is going on. I also see the geneticist on Tuesday- I will let you know if there are any other mutations that we Delanas carry.

I hope that you are having a wonderful late spring day.
Love and Light,
Maggie