Up earlyish - a chihuahua stepped on my face. It's not a work day, so I could just lay still and sense. A mourning dove was cooing outside of my window. That helped me believe in spring...because according to the forecast, we are in for one more slam of winter. Sigh.....
I was working with two ideas, letting them ramble around in my brain in the dawn half-light. First I was thinking about forgiveness...still thinking about it. I had the sense of a momma embracing me. Forgiveness ties so closely to - compassion, to - I understand, to - Me-too. It is so much easier to look at others with love, and to forgive...well, to many others. There are a few people I really had to struggle with. Forgiveness seems to have to do with releasing the lump in one's heart....hmmm. Another hard place that needs to be softened.
My thoughts, my awareness have been circling around softness, openness, vulnerability so much. Healing begins when we are soft and receptive. We can't just forgive - to send it out and share it, but we must be strong enough and accepting enough to receive forgiveness.
I think I am offering myself forgiveness. Now I have to believe I am enough, and accept.
It's so much easier to forgive someone else. They have the struggle of accepting it.
Maybe now, at equinox, in this time of balance, and when the ground is finally (hopefully) melting and becoming soft, maybe now it the perfect time for this lesson. But I think out time at the island was the necessary catalyst. Experiencing vulnerability was key.
And so, thank you, again.
The other thing I "got" this morning was a sound of groaning men. When I investigated, I found women and children trapped beneath them, and below that were the animals, both domestic and wild. There was more as I went deeper, but this was enough. I felt like I was traveling to the center of the Earth.
You said something about the powerful white males. We see them as having freedom we don't have. But I think, in truth, they are the product of massive oppression. Someone who wields that much power, who only feels safe or of any worth because he has money, property and possessions, owns a beautiful woman - his humanity has been destroyed. His soul is suffering because it has to take an immense amount of self-imposed blindness to not see the hungry and the homeless, the destroyed water and forest, the dolphin slaughters - and to not feel any connection or compassion. They have lots, they look good, but they have to be half-dead to have what they have.
I think this morning, I heard that pain. And their layer of pain leads to ownership of others - in a way, we are all slaves, possessions. All land has to be owned. All creatures have to be owned, or they are fair play for murder. We wantonly slay anything not owned by another human. And we are allowed to use and abuse anything we own.
We are so out of balance.
The First People knew that the leader was the first to give. We need to go back to that. We are so sick, and our disease is hurting the planet.
Do you remember the Gaia Philosophy - maybe from the 1980s? We finally understood the planet is alive, and there was finally an awareness of the sentience of all life, especially including the planet. We are hurting her with our disease. We are hurting all other species...
So we must soften, forgive, wander around lost until we find a new way. Or we must die, we must endure our own extinction so others may live.
Which sacrifice will we make?
And after, all that - I get to turn on music and clean my house!
I love you. I hope you have a peaceful, joyful, balanced weekend with your beautiful family.
Clare
No comments:
Post a Comment