So this is crazy. I have been crying at night, instead of sleeping, but last night I slept. This morning I woke up - too early, but that's my life, and wanted a smoothie for breakfast. It had apples that I ran outside and picked and home-made grape juice and beet greens and a carrot. I wasn't craving my numbing agents, I was craving vitamins.
Then, later, after lunch, I did eat a hand full of chocolate chips, but it did not kick off a feeding frenzy. I am not feeling wildly addicted, like I MUST numb today.
It feels - weird!
I started thinking that all of my tears have created a clear stream of water in my swamp. Then I had the wild idea that I could dive to the bottom of the swamp and pull the plug. I am almost afraid to try...When I was considering it, I was wondering if my sobbing little girl was the plug...
I wondered what would happen if I pulled the plug. Would it refill with clear water? I'm sure I would have to rinse out a few times, because we know the stench and crap is thick in there. But maybe some of the old, hard debris will soak loose!!
The dogs started playing today - Joyful moment! My grandson called to tell me I am a dump truck. I told him he was a backhoe and he was delighted.
Enjoying your conference?
Love you...missing you!!
Clare
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