I want to speak to the point of integration that you wrote about.
When I am in my body...
like during sex...
I am no longer in my mind.
I have to relinquish the control that my mind fiercely holds on to...
once I can get my mind to release it's grip then I can move into my body...
but I am not integrated...
I am simply using another piece of myself while putting another on hold.
I don't think I have ever had a conversation during sex...
I can't think and respond physically...does that make sense?
It is really a surprising insight for me...to realize that I am that fragmented and controlled by my mind.
Wow...what a mess I am.
Oh well the re-integration process has begun and soon this will be a memory...
a lesson that I can speak from in the future.
The other morning husband said something very comforting...
"It's a good thing that you haven't found a job yet. You need to spend time doing this work."
I realized how important this reintegration is to my life, and how blessed I am to have the time and energy to move into the process.
I love you,
Maggie
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