A short sabbatical

Clare,
So sorry...I just "checked out"for the weekend. Husband is wanting to spend as much time together as possible, especially on the weekends, and with everything else I just couldn't find 30 minutes to sit by myself and write. I started to write twice and had people on top of me and could not think. I guess you could consider it a short sabbatical.

I had to do opening exercise yesterday. I had no idea what to speak about. I checked out a Quaker blog on Saturday night and found a piece called Is Peace Propagating Violence? It was written as a response to a sexual scandal within the Mennonite church of a peace activist acting inappropriately with women. The authors were angered that this man worked outwardly towards greater peace but was secretly violating women...and he died 15 years ago...so there was some kind of a cover-up. Anyway, hidden within all of that confusion was a nugget of Truth...that peace isn't about protests or bumper stickers- Peace begins within the person and extends to everyone we encounter. Friend or foe...no matter what. It came together nicely...I wasn't sure what the take home message was going to be...but the spirit guided me. I stayed away from the scandal and focused on the Truth. When I was considering songs to sing I had several come to mind that were perfect, Let There Be Peace on Earth and The Prayer of St. Frances... again, gratitude to the Spirit. It is interesting, I am reading The Places That Scare You by Pema Chodron (again) and it fits with that very theme. Stay with the uncomfortable because that is where the most progress is made...don't retreat into habitual reactions...face the situation and move on.

After meeting one woman told me that Bill Moyers did an interesting interview with Pema Chodron, so I came home and watched that. It answered a question that we batted back and forth a few months ago...about releasing suffering. She defines it much better than I ever could. She separates pain from suffering. Pain is inevitable...part of every one's life. But suffering is holding onto the pain...giving it control of your life, or at least part of your life. That's why suffering is necessary until it no longer is...then we can let it go...we retain the memory of pain...but no longer live within the confines of it.

I went to my friend's funeral today. She looked so different laying in that casket. I really dislike viewings...it's not the person laying there....just a shell. It was a viewing with no service at the funeral home and then people shared memories at the graveside. They kept everyone there as they lowered the casket into the ground. I have never stayed while that was done before. One woman beside me felt that watching that was more difficult than any other part of the proceedings. I think it kind of completed it.

I really want to be cremated when I am dead...ashes spread in the wind if possible. I don't like the idea of any part of this body remaining underground. And I definitely don't want anyone touching my body after I am dead.

I remember that Halloween...I think I was Sleepy...should've been Doc! That is one of the [positive memories that I retain...and besides the picture of us in costume I don't remember much of that day. Did we go to a base halloween party? I don't remember trick or treating in that town. I do remember trick or treating in the next town...always dressing up like a Hobo carrying a pillow case as a treat bag. It was quick, easy and didn't take much preparation. It's funny how I went the opposite direction and made elaborate costumes for my kids...until the year the boys decided that the costumes from the store were superior...translation- like everyone else's.

As for sibling fighting...I have a sign in my kitchen that reads "Because Nice Matters". I never knew it was important to be nice to siblings...but my kids have heard that lecture many times. I am sure they have hurt each other...but not regularly and hopefully not intentionally.

Glad to be back...have patience with me.
Love and Light,
Maggie