Resiliency...it is a possibility! I like that! I have a few trusted people in my life. I have you and S#3, and two woman friends I can tell almost anything...one in particular...we have a date to go for a walk and talk this week. I have hope, although sometimes I think my hope is fantasy, and an escape. What I don't have, have never have and have never witnessed in a family home is a supportive, stable partner. I think I was close with my college sweetheart, but I didn't recognize, much less value those gifts. Does this make me 66% resilient? I feel like it puts me on the track toward resilience!
Checked in with my child after last week's chat. My intelligent, magnificent child discovered, "I am enough," without ever having heard of Brene Brown! I was impressed!
You have stumbled into something I have been working on for years - trying to understand the chakras. First, let me say that I was touched that you remembered my annual strep throat. And tying them to a blocked blue chakra is pretty wise. I learned how to treat strep throat with herbs. It was one of the first remedies I mastered, and I have not suffered from this disease for decades. Maybe finding herbs was when I found my voice. Or else I know how to turn off the symptoms now. When I work with my chakras, the one that is and has been consistently blocked is orange. I saw a chart that shows a shut down orange is illustrated by isolation. Hmmmm, would that be me?
I don't know if you know that I studied flower essences a few years ago, and became quite adept at making them. Part of the process is to attune to the plants - to recognize their sentience, open heart and try to perceive what they want to share with us.
I got a few strong messages right from the start. One of the first renumbered the chakras. Our feet are number one, and our knees and the second. Then the red is three, orange is four, yellow is five, green is six, blue is seven. The forehead - indigo or purple - number eight. And the top of the head, violet or gold is nine. It actually continues up to 12.
What I have learned is that we are trapped in our yellow chakras. We use our will to control everything in our lives, around our lives, affecting us in any way. We are taught to be successful, we must make a plan and stick with it. I see will everywhere. We will babies to be born at set times with induction or Cesarian. We will the Earth to bear monocultures. We have no faith. We never simply relax and go with the flow.
To do that would be to crawl into our heart chakra and function with faith. We would be simply loving. When we are in balance, we are in the flow, and we use our will, our yellow as a rudder or an oar to direct our movement.
This change that is immediately before us has to do with climbing into our hearts, becoming truly humane. That is what you and I are working on together.
I have been thinking about my use of will. I haven't been forcing anything to be the way I insist it must be. I have more been hiding and kicking anyone who got to close to my hidey-hole!
This new way of understanding herbs has been so wonderful for me. To perceive chakras on my feet puts me in energetic contact and communion with the Earth. I feel I am with her - which may be why I prefer barefooting for as long as possible during the year. I also rethought sex. Sex is the union of two threes, which creates a heart, a six - if you do it right! I mean with consciousness and connection and respect and passion. I suddenly understood why the words sex and six are so close. That is why Number 6 of the tarot deck is the Lovers, and Number 5 is the Pope.
I also understood the religious symbolism of a cross, a pentagram, a Star of David. I knew why quartz crystals were suddenly so important.
Play with the images for awhile. Am I way out there? Even if I am, I know I am right! I loved Myss' Sacred Contracts. I had a notebook full of all the work I did while working my way through the book. I think it was a library book, which I returned. I do love her work, though.
I do look forward to your reaction. I haven't shared this with many people. Now here it is in public!
Trustingly,
Clare
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