Light

Clare,

That passage is beautiful.
I loved the part about looking into the mirror...being able to see themselves clearly after unburdening their soul of their pain.
I once had an experience that scared and invigorated me at the same time. I may have shared this with you before.
I was on a retreat, attending a conference that opened up questions in my mind that made me think and feel very deeply. That night I couldn't sleep well, so I walked to the bathroom and as I washed my hands I looked at my reflection in the mirror.
What I saw was my face but with light coming from my eyes...it was scary enough that I closed my eyes for a few moments and when I reopened them I again saw the Light coming from within.
I stared and contemplated the meaning for a short time and then went back to my bed. I wrote a song that night, The Learning Curve...I've shared parts of that with you before.
By morning the Light was gone.
I have only seen that Light one other time since then, briefly in my mirror at home.
This summer when I sketched my fears and then sketched the resolution to my fears I had a remembrance of that Light from within. The Light has the power to illuminate the secrets and show them for what they truly are...bad memories that keep us prisoner.
The haunted house of your dream was dehaunted by that Light within you.
We have the power to stop our own interior haunting by the secrets and the doubts that plague our souls and hold us in the swamp.
We have the power within us.

I am wondering, if we had lived 50 years ago, how we would be handling this process of coming to terms with our past, reintegrating our soul and moving forward as a whole person for the remainder of our life. I think it would be a very different scenario.
I am grateful to be alive at this time.
I also wonder, with the emergence of awareness and the public breaching of taboo subjects what it will be like 50 years from now. Will this type of abuse still exist? If it does will it be as prevalent or will it be an exception?
I truly hope and believe that by shining the Light on abuse in all forms it will end.
I hope that no young people ever have to live with the shame and isolation that we did.

I have to journal for class on Monday night. It is supposed to be on our readings, but I feel led to write about my reactions to the movie that we watched. I have shared with my classmates that I have experienced abuse in a previous class...when I had a strong reaction to another discussion that we were having...it seems like a safe outlet for expression of MeToo.

Today I was speaking with the director that I am working with about planning conferences for continuing education credits for social workers. After the discussion I was brainstorming topics and then I had the thought, 'Wouldn't it be great if I could schedule Brene Brown to speak?' ...well it would be fabulous...so I am going to at least check out her fees, etc.

I was walking this evening, and as I walked I remembered a conversation that I had with my wise friend last spring...she told me that I needed to share my memories with my family...I remember becoming nauseous almost immediately and asking her why? Why do you tell stories that they all already know? What's the point? The disclosure was for my healing, not theirs she told me. As I recalled her words I realized how rue they were and still are today. It has taken me a long time to realize that I only have the power to heal myself...that's hard to handle when I've had a Joan of Arc complex all of my life...The interesting thing is that tonight I didn't feel nauseous at all...I felt light and vitality...

Love and Blessings,
Maggie