Gotta laugh

Hi Maggie.

It's funny - we're sort of on the same track.  I am feeling very mortal these days. It's getting close to my birthday, and I am feeling old and tired and like I'm done.  I know I'm not done, but I have hit a sorry spot of feeling old and feeling like I am never going to be special or do anything important.  I felt the addiction process in my body with the Easter candy incident. That feels hopeless.  And now there's this gene...It's all sort of slamming at once.

Logically I know I'll live for another 35 years.  But emotionally, I'm so tired.  I don't see any escape from the sameness.  I know miracles happen, but not today, apparently.

I have been very aware of the possibility of breast cancer all of my life.  I knew.  But I breastfed for 13.5 years.  That offers a lot of protection.  And I am very familiar with my breasts.  Maybe that's a false security...But I am.

You write about having to be more hypervigilant, but we also have to have more fun.  We need to laugh more.  I don't remember who wrote the book about healing with humor.  He stocked up on funny books and programs and series. He laughed himself well.  I think we should use laughter as preventative medicine.  There's got to be something funny every day.

I don't laugh enough...What makes me laugh?  Irma Bombeck.  Whose Line Is It. My grandson, and the others - all of my grandkids.

We don't get to see where this is going.  We just get to go.  Or we give up, sit still and wither...

Middle of the night I have been hearing sounds. At first it was moments of dissonance alternating with harmony.  Now it becoming more harmonic.  I feel like Earth, like male/female are coming into balance - moreso than they have been.

Thank you for the offer of the book.  I will read with great interest.  I read Sugar Blues by William Duffy when I was in college.  I never kept sugar in the house, cooked mostly with honey.  But now, I read that Americans buy much less sugar, but we eat a lot more because it is added to almost everything we eat. So I have to start eating only whole foods that I grow or I make, I guess. I am currently taking a nutrition course which is nudging me to better habits.

How is everything else at home?  Calm?

Sending love and hugs,

Clare