Fairy Tales

Had another thing happen last night.  I felt like my body, soul and spirit divided and were three instead of one.  My spirit is beautiful and Light and strong and vibrant.  My soul is tired, but okay - healthy.  My body is sort of inactive.  I don't think I have ever appreciated or understood my body.  I truly think abuse at an early age drives us from our body, and our bodies simply become a place for storing pain.  We have no idea of the delight having a body can bring.

I felt most alive, most embodied when pregnant, and especially when surrendering to labor and delivery.  Otherwise my body has been - not important enough - to me.

My body was like a deflated balloon when the soul and spirit separated from it.  My spirit was sort of ineffectively sculpting it.  And I noticed, that psychically, I have slit wrists. And I had a lot of shards, of metal maybe, in my butt and thighs.  My spirit picked up my flaccid body and shook it, and the shards were drawn to the magnetic north pole (I could not make this stuff up - it is simply too weird)  I apologized to the Earth and was told that this was good, it was her job.

Looking at my deflated, sort of 2-D self, the fairy tale Sleeping Beauty came to mind.  I thought maybe I needed a man to kiss me and awaken me.  My mind rolled to my favorite fairy tale - Beauty and the Beast.  I read that we live our favorite tale.  I married a beast (an alcoholic) and expected my love to transform him.  And we did not live happily ever after.  I was berating my naivete, when I understood that a woman's love can redeem something in a man, just as a man's kiss can awaken a woman.  It's all about balance, expectation and vulnerability.

I fell asleep...and since I got up and worked today, I assume my spirit and soul have rejoined my self.

Sweet dreams little sister,

Clare