the funck continues

I have been going through images of abuse for a presentation that I am preparing and then giving in January.Today I saw a picture of a young child cowering on a bed in the corner and there was a silhouette  of an adult with a belt in their hands. In my mind I could hear the snapping of the belt, as if they had it doubled and were pulling the two ends quickly together...it was very real and frightening...I quickly reassured myself that it was not real...but it was very real for a moment. I don't remember ever being 'belted' I know that I was terrified of the possibility of that punishment.

I am still in my funck...my state of unbalance or rebalancing.
I am forgetting to make phone calls that need to be made, feeling disconnected, disorganized...that sort of thing. You were talking about moons...I have had this feeling before when Mercury was in retrograde...I am not even sure what that exactly means...but I have noticed this same feeling when I've been told that is happening.

The weekend wine tasting sounds great, but with everything coming due at the end of the semester I just can't travel....the way I feel I would probably get lost along the way anyway. Sorry. I graduate in May...hopefully I will settle into a less hectic path then.

As I was preparing the powerpoint presentation I remembered a quote that I read about 3 years ago...
It struck me then as I was struggling to understand a horse and it speaks to me now considering all we are journeying through...

"If her past were your past,
her pain your pain,
her level of consciousness your level of consciousness,
you would think and act exactly as she does.
With this realization comes forgiveness, compassion, peace.
The ego doesn’t like to hear this, because if it cannot be reactive and righteous anymore, it will lose strength."

Eckhart Tolle

 

I think that your talking about becoming visible to our clan and community made me wonder how that will happen...

when they seem to have ignored your invitation into our dialogue...

maybe that's what is really eating at my soul...

I think that I wanted at least one of them to read and be moved by the recollections...

I know that this has been accessed through the address you shared at least twice...

and nothing...

I still want to control this...

I really have to let go of that need...I have to be at peace and just grow.

 

I am curious about your visceral memories...any progress?

Love and Blessings,

Maggie