Clare,
I thought I had gotten here yesterday, but apparently only in my imagination.
Yesterday was a good day. The dog does need surgery, it is scheduled for Monday. Then it will be 4 weeks of keeping her calm to allow it to heal. Luckily she is 10 and is pretty calm to begin with. She gets overly excited when there are squirrels or crows on the driveway, then she thinks she's a puppy again.
We had letters from my youngest yesterday. I asked him if his anger had anything to do with my marital separation. He wrote that the separation was pointless, had no meaning, because we just got back together in the end. It is heartbreaking that he cannot see that so much internal work was done and that my relationship with husband is very different. I will write to him today and explain some of the important differences. I don't want to bog him down with details. I've already decided to make it clear that this is only my side of the story, so he understands that there are valid perspectives from all sides.
I just am saddened that he's felt like our family is pointless for 3 years.
I love the idea of a heart vacation. I think it is about opening to potential love and then accepting what comes our way. I feel so much better trying to live with a Heart at Peace with the world. It is freeing for me. It gives me courage to be me, to be seen, to lie with purpose. Perhaps it shouldn't be a vacation though, vacations are too short. Perhaps it should be an extended sabbatical…I like that better.
Love and Light,
Maggie
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