i see what you are describing with owning horses when i read the dog rescue sites. i think it's another aspect of objectification....make me look good. people buy trendy breeds, then dump them later - some people, not all. i can always feel the bereft pain of the dog - they are part of the family. they love unconditionally. to be treated like furniture, to be cast aside. it breaks my heart.
people mostly dump dogs between 6 and 9 months - when that puppy adoration, i'll follow you anywhere stage ends, and adolescence begins, or in old age when health problems set in. it is hard to watch them die. it is easier to pretend they are at the farm, playing with the other dogs.
my husky gave me a great gift by dying of old age, and cancer, while my hand was on him. he looked me right in the eyes just before he left, blew his spirit out and was gone. and, as with the passing of all of our beloveds, the cord between us snapped and i was without him. it was horrible grace. and i am about to go through it again. my 14 year old cocker is now blind, deaf and mostly confused. but she knows where her food dish is, she knows where i am, and she mostly sleeps comfortably. but a little more of her is gone every day. this dog is not objectified. she has been part of the family since she fit in my hand. i don't expect her to be with us when you visit.
it is objectification...we want perfect horses, perfect dogs, perfect children, perfect partners to reflect our value and perfection. it doesn't matter what lies below the facade. that was our family - we were the great american family...tall, blue-eyed, talented, intelligent.
you followed this to your ex. i followed it to me. while reading your words, i wondered if i objectify me and reject myself. i accept so many differences in my friends, love my children unconditionally. but i reject myself, can't see my own value...i'm still really struggling with this...i'll keep working, keep pushing myself...
hugs to nephews, and love from clare
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