Fear

Come back to me,
with all your heart,
don't let fear,
keep us apart.

Fear...

That's the answer to both of your questions.

Fear...the opposite of love.
Love empowers and opens us.
Fear closes us down and robs us of our potential.

You fear being seen...and known.
I can only guess that your "daughter" is afraid of not being seen, and so she attracts male attention...
women are raised to feel incomplete without a man to define her. Those who choose to live independently are called lesbians or crazy cat women.

I sometimes regret giving up the opportunity to live independently...but with kids in the picture it is best to make sacrifices. I think if I am ever widowed I will live independently...not without companions...but at my choosing.

Have you ever read/practiced A Course in Miracles?
It is a spiritual practice, lasting a year if you are diligent,
that brings you to a new perspective.
I have completed it once...
began it another time...
and picked it up again today.
I have used it in the past as a place to begin my meditation...

Today I read about fear...being the opposite of love...
giving up fear frees a person to open to the possibilities of the divine.
Hence my opening answer to you...
no one can coerce you to love them.
they can frighten you into respect, or compliance...but never into love.
If you would like I will bring you a copy of the book when I see you...it might interest you.

I am glad that you helped a young woman escape her abuser...we all need to open our doors to those who need us. I remain open to that possibility...to the point that my oldest tells me to not give her room to a foster child because she still wants to come home.

The one last thought that comes to me this evening is that as we give love we are filled with more love. It "defies physics" because in sharing we are replenishing and building our stores. It is a great image to hold onto.

I love you,
Maggie