Ugly Duckling...or Swan?

I am uncomfortable with your assessment of me.
Since I am using stories to explain...
I am like the ugly duckling who has been repeatedly told I am ugly, wrong or unacceptable
too many times at too early an age to believe that it will be different.
Someday, hopefully, I will meet others like myself and eventually recognize that I fit.
It's funny, as I write that I realize that I have found my niche in social work...
I feel as if I really do fit there and can be myself. That's probably becasue studies have shown that over 85% of social workers have a personal history of trauma.

I can't remember the basement in Fburg...
I remember the big grate on the floor in that central room where the heat came up...
probably because I remember S#4 accidentally peeing into it once and the smell was bad.
Where were the basement steps?
Was that house really haunted?
Did you guys really find a noose in the attic?
I hated being closed into that dark closet...it was near the attic steps.
Do you remember the seances in the graveyard across the alley?
Those scared the living daylights out of me...
what a strange phrase, "Scared the living daylights out of me"...I wonder where that came from.

I find it interesting that you turned the Skeleton Woman story to tie you to others.
I saw it as tying me to my lost parts.
The story was told to describe the development of a true, loving relationship with another.
So, in your relationship(s) have you seen that pattern?
Have you stopped to really untangle the bones from the line?
I see some of my actions clearly in this story...
I separated from my husband and he continued to quietly pursue...
he was always nearby...sometimes acting like a jerk...sometimes a friend...
I ran away and he stayed close enough.
I think I am still pushing him away...but it is for a different reason now...
Before I pushed him away because I was trying to run from all of this family garbage...the Delana slime as you put it.
I knew that I was getting close to the pain and needed an escape route.
I created the chaos in my life to avoid all of this garbage and I ended up in a relationship that was a copy of my marriage...same issues with different names.
Now, I believe that I am pushing him back to make space for this work...he wants to work on solidifying us and I am digging for my own bones...trying to recompose me.
I need a dynamic, fluid mileu to work all of this in...I am creating and insisting on my own space ...does that make sense?

I agree with you that we walk forward sometimes together, sometimes diverging...
this has been our pattern for all of our lives...thanks for being a constant presence for me.

Blessings,
Maggie