My advice to you is to make it happen...if you want Grad school then call, or email if you like a more indirect approach. Tell them you are interested and ask what you need to do and what are the deadlines. What are you pursuing...writing? Don't do correspondence or online work...it is really too impersonal. I find that I love the weekly gathering, sharing knowledge, discussions and friendships. I will miss it next year when I am finished.
So, Aunt J...What do I remember? I do remember her first husband...I never knew what happened to them. She remarried, he had 4 kids also...you never knew if there was going to be 0 or 8 kids at their house. She seemed happy in her second marriage, although there was a period of separation. I knew her stepson...he was in my class senior year, after we moved. He was very social, personable, dated one of my friends, was friends with the man I dated...he was alot like his father.
I remember the first time they all showed up at a camping trip...all 10 of them getting out of that station wagon. I remember how much in love they were...he sang her, I'll Give You a Daisy a Day. I was so entranced, I wanted a man like that...thoughtful, kind, sweet.
Uncle J died this past year...my family went to his funeral...it was touching.
He made them promise to play, The House of the Rising Sun and the pianist played it beautifully.
2 days before the funeral, I was doing yoga, I heard the song, I'll Give You a Daisy a Day, in my head. I immediately was taken back to that camping trip 40 years prior. I looked up the lyrics, wrote them on a small card and attached them to a bouquet of daisies which I gave to Aunt J at the funeral. She smiled when I told her why I did it....daisies have always been her favorite, she told me...
I already knew that.
I remember having gatherings that were fun at her house. My favorite Grammy image is from her house...Grammy eating corn on the cob with a big dab of butter on the tip of her nose...full face laughing because of it...sheer pleasure.
All of aunt J memories are good ones. I have actually considered talking with her about all of this...see if she has any of the missing pieces.
Dad's sister's...that's a mess of memories...
I hung out with aunt MJ and had a blast in K. She took S#3 and I cruising for boys once...we just checked them out...not really to pick any up. Her daughter A was my idol...she got so much attention from Grandma and Pop that I craved...a little jealous, yes. I did enjoy being with her on the rare occasions that I had the opportunity. When we moved back, she was dating and not as interested in her cousins. That family always seemed to be happy and together.
Aunt L...very sweet, quick to laugh and she had a whole hearted laugh. She let S#3 and I stay with her over 2 summers so we could work. She liked having company and she liked having girls around. She had a tough life. Her husband and son crippled with polio. I remember her second son, although wasted from the waist down, was a body builder, very strong, very outgoing. He said that's because his Mom would not help him physically. She taught him to do for himself. I don't think she did that cruelly, but looking back a dad's methods of strengthening us...it might have been twisted.
I didn't know dad's sister J well. I knew of her multiple marriages. She remarried quickly after her second husband died. She seemed to need a man. I was really jealous of her daughter...she was another one that Grandma and Pop idolized.
The saddest thing I remember about the sisters is that after Grandma and Pop went into the nursing home, they went up to their attic and plundered it. My recollection of the story was that Grandma had everything separated and labeled, who should receive it after their deaths, and the daughters took everything they wanted, leaving very little.
S#3 moved into that home, I think another cousin lived there temporarily, and found an old gum ball machine...she gave that to me...that is what I received and I treasure it.
So how does it seem that the B sisters seemed to have more 'normal' lives than the brothers? Were they spared as children? I doubt it...there was no escaping the animosity between their parents. The cruelty couldn't have been doled out that exactly, to only affect the boys. Were they great pretenders, like Grandma...just be a good wife and mother? It is hard to know what any of our relatives' lives were like as we saw them once a year or less, for only hours at a time...And it seems that the pattern is to abuse your own family and dote on everyone else's kids.
What about Dad's brother B? I really don't remember much about him.
I love you...
Maggie
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