remain open

Clare,

Why are you focusing on "petty"? Where did that come from?

People can say anything that they want to…
but the individual person has the ability to accept or reject those thoughts.
I explain this to my kids as…
if someone brings you a present you have choices…
you can open it up and use/enjoy it…
or you can leave it there and politely say, No thank you.

We make the decision to incorporate other's opinions…
unfortunately we are trained to appreciate other's opinions more than our own self-image.
We need to reclaim our own authority and power.

I am exhausted…
again.
My youngest is grounded for staying out all night Saturday…
2 weeks grounded…
last night he slipped out the basement door about 9:30 and didn't come home until after 2 am…
the weather was fierce- lightening, heavy rain, flooding of local roads…
I harassed him by phone…
texting him over and over again "Where are you?"…
when he came home he told me that he does not accept groundings…
he was teaching me that it won't work.

He didn't appear to be intoxicated…
he didn't smell of any substances…
I think he was trying to torture me…
or test my resolve…
I don't know what to do.
I want to run away and live a peaceful life.
I want to wake up and have 10 years elapse and have him back in a normal mindset.
I want to ship him off somewhere to be someone else's responsibility for a while.
I don't know what I want.

I think he reminds me too much of our brothers…
I think I fear so much for him because of that.
But, even acknowledging that doesn't relieve me of the need to teach and discipline.
I cannot find that soft place in my heart for him right now…
I love him…
I don't like him…
I don't trust him.

I will remain open for a lesson or solution to emerge.

Love and Light beautiful sister,
Maggie