isolate/ostracize...which came first?

So, do we isolate ourselves and then feel ostracized, or are we ostracized and then isolated?
Are they coincidental or does one flow from the other?

I guess this is an important point because it defines me as a victim or a person making a choice (not always a positive choice). Alot of survivors isolate themselves so that they don't have to share their pain, share their story. They can physically withdraw from their contacts, they can use/abuse drugs and alcohol, they can gain weight to insulate themselves, or a myriad of other reactions...all resulting in physical and emotional isolation.

One of the very compelling portions of this current research is that "adverse childhood experiences" have been linked to illnesses and early death...suddenly influential people are paying attention.
The paradigm shift linked into this is that what was perceived as weak/disabling diseases; such as alcoholism, addiction, obesity, cigarette smoking, self harm...are the person's attempt at a solution (our family certainly fits into these).
Treating the symptoms causes the patient to decompensate...they have had their coping mechanism taken away.
Bariatric surgery is causing alot of people to have increased suffering because you take away their ability to sooth themselves with food... but still millions of dollars are being spent to mutilate bodies of people who are looking for an outside solution to their symptoms...not addressing the underlying issues.
Physicians treating these illnesses can come to see that they are symptoms that need to be addressed, but that the underlying etiology is abuse. Treating symptoms is frustrating and never ending. Treating the real core problem will take care of the symptoms in a more definitive manner.
The studies are being done by physicians, financed by the CDC, and getting attention. They are telling other physicians to ask the uncomfortable questions about history of abuse, and to acknowledge that this has serious consequences, physically and mentally.
Maybe there will be a shift in the perception of childhood maltreatment in our lifetime.
Maybe child abuse will stop being that dirty little secret that so many people hide in their darkest, deepest closet.

Thanks for confirming that I am not crazy...
I feel more sane and in control...here in the swampland...than I ever have before in my life.
I am actively facing the demons as they arise, and yes there are times that it is excruciating to write the things that come out. But, as you pointed out, the words cannot hurt, they relieve the pressure that has been blocked behind them in my mind. It is analogous to lancing a boil to allow healing.It is better to have temporary discomfort than to allow gangrene to take over.

So, I am off to enjoy this holiday...Independence Day...to enjoy the independence that we've gained in this journey thus far. Thanks for being a revolutionary at my side.
I love you,
Maggie