i missed you. actually, i was a little nervous that something happened - i definitely inherited the family worry gene. i'm glad everyone is okay.
my hand is still swollen, but i'm doing more with it. i have been thinking about parts of myself that have been frozen, that i keep immobilized out of fear. i wonder how flowers feel when they stretch and blossom. i wonder if it's pain mixed with the joy of expansion. i wonder if, by paying close attention to my healing process, i can transfer the experience and become more.
it also reminds me of the delight i felt when i realized that flower is flow - er. we learn to flow, to trust the flow. then we blossom!
i wasn't asking for help, and i wasn't trying to complain. i was just trying to express the understanding of the violence of our government. i was twisting it, in the middle of the night. i know people who have used government assistance to get on their feet, and it can be a blessing, but for the first time i saw the violence of forcing people to accept, then branding them as being bad, being moochers. it is so violent.
i definitely supplement my budget with my garden. i grow a lot, can and dry a lot. being out of commission has been - almost depressing. my middle son and his life partner planted a lot of extras, for me. that is their way of helping. i truly appreciate them.
when i get full use of my hand back, my mood will improve. i'm going to go think about herbs to aid the healing.
i love you,
clare
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