Joy...revisited

I am glad that you "went there"...
I, too, was uncomfortable with suffering uniting...
not that I disbelieve that it does...
but why do we unite over the negative?
And yet, suffering isn't always negative...
there are silver lessons built into many types of suffering.
But I do like the image of uniting around joy.
Joy is such a positive experience and healthy emotion...
It creates health and balance.
But too many of us dwell on the painful and difficult...
not even appreciating the simple joys of everyday existence...
like the birds singing or the cicada chorus that is around me each day,
the beautiful views that I sometimes am too busy to even acknowledge,
the openings form my kids that show me just how incredible they really are,
the regular rhythm of my day,
and on and on and on.

The survey should be easy to navigate...
much like the ACE study's survey, but with an opportunity for open ended answers or reflections.
It needs to be compassionately worded so that participants will feel comfortable talking with us, sharing their story and insights more deeply...that's where the heart of this work lies.
What are the lessons and insights?
Those will be deeply held secrets...but secrets that others are willing to share if just asked in a nonjudgemental and compassionate way.
I think back to the Brene Brown video when she talks about her thousands of interviews...
we certainly don't need that many...
but enough to get a full picture.
We also need to use the same survey for victims and abusers...
because abusers are often first victimized and then re-enact the process.
By using the same, carefully crafted survey it will allow both sides of the issue to be assessed.
That is an intriguing idea and one that hasn't been investigated very well...
those that work in domestic violence don't want to humanize the abusers...
By blocking them from telling their story they are once again victimized by the label "perpetrator"...
and placed on public lists to keep them separate from any moral, law abiding citizens...
not given the appropriate intervention and support to learn new and healthier habits.

Anyway...the boys are home from baseball...
until tomorrow.
Love and Light,
Maggie