tough day

Clare,
What a beautiful day you've had. Nature is full of beauty and peace.

I had only 2 clients today (3 failed to show up). The first woman, with whom I'd made a breakthrough on our last visit, showed up full of steam. She told me that she doesn't need help with the past…she only wants help with the day to day issues that comes up. I listened, restated the boundaries that she's set, and then listened some more.
She has had one of the most traumatic lives I've ever heard…
and yet the issues she has with control of her kids…
control in relationship…
isolation…
shame…
needing to be right always…
needing to be busy always…
I can't talk about her history…
just give advice…
"why don't you try _______?"

It's fascinating to me…
once I have a breakthrough with a client they retreat back to a safer place…
they miss appointments…
shut down…
act as if they never told you that "secret"…
or cried in front of someone else…
they want to talk about the weather or someone else in the family who has bigger problems.

Counseling is an education.

So I am working on my talk for tomorrow. I've broken my life with cancer down into 4 or 5 points and am reflecting on the lessons I've learned along the way. Focusing on the personal experience of the past year. I found the term "Post Traumatic Growth Experience"…I love that. I'm going to talk about that.
I'm also going to talk about how hard it is to see the breast cancer awareness campaigns and how hollow they feel. I don't have "tatas" to save, I don't really like pink, and I haven't worn a bra in 16 months. The real battle is finding a cure for metastatic breast cancer- almost no one survives that.
I hope it goes well.

I did my first week of the trauma class. It was really interesting. There was a good discussion of how inadequate the diagnoses available to describe trauma survivors really are. I hadn't really thought of how restrictive the current ones are- one traumatic incident, specific symptoms that don't explain the anxiety, dissociation, poor attachment, trust issues, shame, etc. It's good to know there are people who are really thinking about this stuff.

Anyway…
Love and Light beautiful sister,
Maggie