with boulders

Hi Maggie,

I finished watching Hector and the Search for Happiness last night and cried for about the last 20 minutes.  I'm crying a lot again, which I know is a good thing.  In the end there was a scientist who could tell whether subjects were feeling happy, sad or afraid by the portion of the brain that lit up. Hector's brain was not lighting up much at all, until there was a breakthrough and he was overwhelmed by all three at once. 

Talk about vulnerability!

There was a lot of symbolism, a lot of hidden meanings.  I have the book on my wish list, hoping I can buy it soon.  Books are so much better than movies...

The vision of the cloaks was powerful. We were all hunched under the weight. And many of us have boulders, swaying us off balance, listing to one side. And they're black, and they have hoods that shadow our faces.  You said you think we wear them so we don't have to show ourselves.  I was wondering if, with the culture we are raised in - we can't show ourselves.

I think men are oppressed not to show any emotion right from the start.  I found that with my daughters, we could sit down, face to face and talk. A lot. But with my sons - no way.  Trying to get a man to just sit, face-to-face to discuss feelings is the root of many jokes, and it does seem funny, but it's also right there, a truth of their oppression.  If I wanted my sons to talk, I worked side-by-side with them. It seems like counseling would need to incorporate that. 

I was interested in your observation of the steps of working with men.  I think, in general, that so few of us are truly listened to, that when we find someone who does, we do glamorize it into a budding romance.  I really loved your perception, that we then take the next step into deep connection.  I had noticed that, but never named it.

Using the word love does confuse things.  Without the word, we don't know if...With the word, we believe, but if there is no follow-through or connection, we are painfully confused.

Went out walking with my little buddy today. She asked if we could go into the sugar maple forest. I always forget how much I need the trees.

Very tired, and so I send -

Love and hugs from Clare