don't be Dad

Hi Maggie,

I seem to be developing another cold.  I rarely get sick, but this year has been outrageous.  It is probably due to my poor eating habits.  I fell of the sugar wagon and am struggling.  I will climb back on later this week.  And I want to try to limit processed foods as much as I possibly can. I have been doing some reading, and am becoming more convinced that the chemicals added to our foods cause inflammation in various parts of the body, including the brain.  I really think this influences our behavior, our choices.

I am willing to explore this with my body...

I recognize the S#3 pattern.  I have done this, too, especially with my youngest.  Moreso with my youngest, maybe.  Her older sibs occasionally express some opinions to that effect.

I think the reason is twofold.  One is that I tried to parent differently than Dad.  At times I would actually stop, wonder what he would have done, then did something else.  It was painful being regularly reminded that I was not welcomed in his home, that I had to leave at age 18.  And we all knew we could never ask for anything, and that they were not, under any circumstances, going to babysit our kids.

I made sure my kids all knew that as long as I had a home, they were welcome in it.  If they ever, at any time in their life, needed sanctuary, my door is open.

The other reason I stepped in and helped too much was the classic avoidance of having an empty nest. If I am not the Mom, what am I?  It is a difficult questions.  I don't know yet. But it is painful when I look at my position as grandma, slightly outside - more a supporting role than having a vital role.

Sometimes I wonder if I have a vital role in my own life...

With S#4, I will be in the same role as with you - praying.  It's the most I can offer...

I hope you feel the joy of your upcoming weekend...

I'll be back tomorrow...my happy.

Love and hugs,

Clare