It makes me sad to think of you carrying all of that pain and discontent to your grave. You are opening your heart so that you can let people in...maybe not Dad...but someone.
The judgements of our family are harsh...
but yesterday I listened while a friend described her former in-laws...
they were just as judgmental and cruel.
It makes me think that this cruelty is pervasive.
The disconnect surrounds us...making us feel inferior, shamed, attacked. No wonder we sit in silence and shame, accepting our fate as something that we deserve....but eventually most pass that pain onto someone smaller or weaker or more vulnerable...because that connects us, in a way, to the rest of the cruel people. What a heartbreaking cycle.
I sat with my research mentor today, looking at "trauma scales", measurements for how cruelly we have been treated within the span of our lives.
One listed the trauma of being "locked in a closet or tied up"...
I mentioned that I was shut into closets when our parents were out.
She shared that her brother was abusive whenever her parents left the house. She used to climb out of her window to escape him when she heard the car drive away.
It is sickening to think of how pervasive interpersonal violence and cruelty is...
and even more sickening when it is at the hands of our "loved ones".
I am tired of being effected by the aftermath of abuse...and yet everywhere I turn there are others, just like me. We need prevention. We need to adore our children. We need to value children, and all people, not for what they can do for us, but for the bare fact that they are perfect and deserve to be loved and respected. I loved the quote, especially when it said that,
"The well loved child is a seed of world peace, of bright light for us all."
We should all be that...we all have that potential...and yet it is hidden away for fear that it isn't enough.
I think I will share that quote on my Pinterest...it is beautiful.
Love and Light,
Maggie
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