People do notice you. First of all, you have a very easy and natural laugh. People are always drawn to happiness, because they don't know it's part facade. And you always seem to know what you are doing, and so people look to you to give direction. (Not directions, mind you.) And you are a very attractive woman who takes the time to listen to people. Why wouldn't people be drawn to you??? Lots of heartfelt compliments - now bear the agony and writhe until you can say "Thank you!"
I think my confrontation is gentle. A quiet, "It seems like you are having a bad day?" or "Do you really believe that?" can stop and make people think for a minute. It's kind of like when we open our mouths and garbage from our childhood plops out like a big, old cowpie. Sometimes we need someone to look at it and say Peeee-yewwwww! Talking to the kid is also a good idea. I know the few times I received positive feedback, it felt good - like I was real, like I was worth noticing
The Skeleton Woman story is wonderful. The image of trying to run away from something we are still bound to screams at me. We can't escape if we can't disentangle and cut ourselves away from those strands. To me, those connections are the voices and beliefs - "Fat, dumb and ugly." "You can't do anything right." Those words connect me to...Dad, maybe? A part of me I want to abandon, maybe? If it's part of me, then I need a rescue. If it's Delana slime, then good riddance!
Maybe I should embrace, and possibly come to love fat, dumb and ugly since they haunt me so much of the time. Interesting idea. I will work on that and let you know.
The other part that really hit me was Skeleton Woman feeling someone else's heart beat to teach her own to heal again. We need each other. We work best together. Humans are meant to be together, and so many of us are suffering in our isolation. This made me feel hopeful - that there is a solution - we lead each other.
Synchronicity of our heartbeats...magical!
And water often symbolizes emotions. To be cast into the sea, to be lying at the bottom means being so covered, surrounded by emotions that we drown and can no longer function. Sort of describes me, sometimes. Your retelling made me wonder how my little self in the box is doing. I haven't had any word/feelings/messages. I will look for her, I think, and see if we are healing.
Where are we? I think sometimes we are holding hands - Tinya between the two beds, feelings when Dad came home from Viet Nam. (And this is weird - I got an image of the coal bin in the basement of the old house in F-burg. Why would we hold hands there? I know the basement creeped me out - but a lot of that house did. I really hated the front upstairs hall at night. I used to have to get my nerve up, wait a moment to compose myself, then race down that hall to my room, turn on the light as fast as possible, then crouch on the bed until I felt safe.) Other times we are wandering near each other - close enough to call, far enough away to explore some of the things that have happened after we stopped living in the same home. Marveling because we have made some of the same discoveries independently.
Silly note to end on...I remembered a compliment that delighted me. I have been involved in environmental activism. One time, at the end of some adventure I asked a friend if he was ready for the revolution. He sort of blinked and sputtered a little. A few days later, he answered the questions. If I were in charge, he was ready!!
I love you!!
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