hack...hack...still!!

Hi Maggie,

I had the definite impression that Mama was doing her Little Mary Sunshine, everything is okay, routine.   Which includes - of course - he will have chemo.  And Dad is tired, and not ready to do anything at all, no matter what, no matter what the quality of life. He told S#5 - no chemo.

So we will see.  It all has to come to an end.  That is the way life is played.

I am still sick. Every day is a little better, but I am tired of this hacking cough...kinda wondering how much chronic illness I would endure. I have an immensely high tolerance for pain, but the I kinda wonder about the trade offs of joy and magic moments, and of possibilities of magic versus this tedium.  And being sick...

My youngest got her surgeon to push her date back two weeks.  Her boss, a colleague and her boyfriend all freaked out, telling her that if she waits there will be more damage.  She asked me for advice.  Then she almost had a panic attack because she could not think.  My advice was to make a list of what had to be done before the surgery if she went on Friday.  Try to make it work.  If it is not easy...wait.  It is not meant to be this week.

My neighbor told me, after the first surgery, there would be one more.  So I have been expecting this. Today, she said waiting will be fine.  Her leg will be fine.  I definitely appreciate this woman!

It just breaks my heart that my child will continue to be in pain for so long.  And the pain killers and muscle relaxants seem to be affecting her health.

In RC, Re-evaluative Counseling, we learned to be totally present and listen.  We are rarely listened to, because we are waiting to butt in a share what we  are thinking about.  Maybe shut up and listen is perfect. Let him speak, as much as he needs. Maybe allow him speak until he comes to a solution. If it is fair and reasonable, honor him.

I say don't spring a school change on him. You know how traumatic that can be. And don't blame it on him.

Needing sleep...Love and hugs from Clare