I have decided to attend the birthday event, but am not staying over. I think that I will have only one child with me, and she has to travel between rehearsals. I am quite comfortable with the long day, in order to satisfy the needs of as many people as possible. I am seriously working overtime to quiet the tapes of negativity and replace them with reminders of the present and positive expectations for the future.
Mind-games...
I am sitting on my couch with a cat snuggled on each side of me, 2 dogs and another cat at my feet in a peaceful moment...this is what life is about...savoring the peace and tranquility.
Tomorrow is my 25th wedding anniversary, husband and I are traveling into Philadelphia for dinner and a show. I think we are going to have drinks at the bar where we had our first date too. I am really looking forward to the day...spending time with him and visiting familiar places from the past. It's almost impossible to believe that it has been 25 years...and I am thankful that we made it this far. Life is surprising...it is rarely predictable...but if it were it would be boring. I have 4 beautiful children because of this marriage and a relationship that has taught me important life lessons...especially the lessons of love and trust. My idea of what each of those means has evolved over the years, and I am still coming to a deeper understanding of their meanings. It is hard to undo the past lessons, especially when they are learned as the brain developed...the misconceptions get hardwired into the circuitry of the brain...and then we hear those messages play repeatedly in our mind reminding us of our faults and deficiencies...
I could go on...but that would just reinforce those ideas.
I am just going to sit and appreciate the peace of being surrounded by my animals in silent tranquility...that is a much better image to reinforce.
Blessings,
Maggie
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